An Invisible Person Lusts Death
by tmntyyh
Summary: Rated for very good reasons. Warnings are inside. A Griffindor feels worthless. Will he decide to let it all go away faster than it should? Or deal with his life? One-shot. Songfic.


I do not own Like Toy Soldiers, by Eminem, nor do I own Harry Potter, by J. K. Rowling.

**_Lyrics._**

Warning: This contains swears, blood, dark topics, and suicide, if you can handle that, then continue, plus it is a songfic, and it's my first one so it sucks. I know that Ron is OOC, and this is in his sixth year.

Ron's POV

I sat down on my bed in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and I were playing against the Slytherin team for the Quidditch Cup. Harry had gotten all of the attention, like always. You think I'd be used to it now. I probably should be, I have a huge family, and so I'm easily overlooked. But what's worse is my friends, Hermione gets straight A's and she's perfect, Harry's a hero, but me, I'm stupid and ghosts are seen better than people see me. But I have something to get rid of the pain.  
**_  
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down  
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit torn apart We never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers  
_**  
Most people who are wizards, use magic to inflict pain. Me, quite the opposite, I sneaked away one of my mum's butcher knives. The wonderful thing is Dumbledore can't track it like he can magic. I closed the curtains around my four-poster bed and you a silencing and sealing charm on the area. And Hermione thinks that I don't remember things, oh well, they'll never care, they have their own things to take care of, probably won't even notice that I'm dead.  
**_  
I'm suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I ain't never suppose to show it, my crew ain't suppose to know it  
Even if it means going toe to toe with the Benzino, it don't matter_**

_**I never drag 'em in battles that I can handle less I absolutely have to  
I'm suppose to set an example, I need to be the leader  
**_

I sit Indian-style with the blade held lightly to my arms. I know that no one will care, my family will probably be thankful. Percy always did say that I was a burden to the world. There is one thing I'd like to do when I die though, I'd like to leave a message. I pick up the blade and prepare myself for the release.

_**My crew looks for me to guide 'em  
If some shit ever just pop off I'm suppose to be beside 'em  
That Ja shit, I tried to squashed it, it was too late to stop it  
There's a certain line, you just don't cross it, and he crossed it  
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it  
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some Jay Z and Nas shit**_

I lightly take the tip of the blade and thrust it down into the main artery in my left wrist. I already know what the message is going to be. I don't drag the blade, oh no, I have a better thing to do before I do that. Instead, I remove the blade and put it down at the other end of my bed. The walls are white, which is perfect for what is coming next.

_**  
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it  
I spent so much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted  
I'm so caught it I almost feel like I'm the one who caused it  
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it  
Now it's never my object to for someone to get killed  
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build  
**_

I take my index and middle fingers from my right hand and plunge them into my arms. At first the pain was like hell, but it died down, it always does. I removed my fingers, stand up, and started to write on the wall. Several times I had to go back for more blood, luckily, my blood doesn't clot that easily. When I was done, the blood from the first line started to reach the floor.

_**It wasn't my intentions; my intentions were good  
I went through my whole career with out ever mentioning **_

_**And that's just outta respect for not running my mouth  
And talking about something that I knew nothing about  
Plus Dre told me stay out, just wasn't my beef, So I did  
I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth while he's all over TV**_

I grinned to myself, the blood started to run down my arm as the blood clotted. I sat down, went to the knife, picked it up. Malfoy was right, I was no one important; I was and always will be overlooked. Hermione was also right, at the rate I was going, I would never amount to anything. Well, not anymore. In the time between a few seconds and minutes, Ron Weasley will be no more.

_**  
Now I'm talking a man who literally saved my live, like fuck it  
I understand, this is business and this shit just isn't none of my business  
But still knowing this shit could pop off at any minute  
**_

I took the blade to the same arm. Lightly, I took the blade and traced the veins on my left arm, from the wrist to the elbow. All I knew was that this was going to hurt like a bitch, worse than ever before and that I'd have to finish everything before Harry and Hermione find and 'save' me.

_**  
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit torn apart We never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers  
**_

I took a deep breath as I took the blade and cut off my shirt. I had to do something there too. Harry can be the hero. Hermione can be the perfect one. Me, I can and will be dead. I gripped the blade tightly as I drove it into my wrist. I used enough force to get the muscles past the veins too.

_**It used to be time when you could just say a rhyme  
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dying  
But now it's elevated cause once you put someone's kids in it  
Shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more, is it  
It's a different ball game, call names and you ain't just rapping  
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happening  
**_

I dragged the blade quickly across the veins that I traced not a minute ago. After I was done with that arm, I switched the butcher knife into my left and currently bleeding hand. I did the same exact thing to my right arm, all the way to my elbows. I looked at them, seeing how they weren't going to clot in time, I grinned like a madman.

_**Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him  
And asked him not to start it, he wasn't gonna go after him  
Until Ja start gabbing in magazines how he stabbed him  
Fuck it 50, smash him, mash him, and let him have it  
Meanwhile my intentions pulley'd in other directions  
Some receptionist said the source who answers phones at his desk has an erection for me **_

My grin turns into a smile, a real smile. I know what comes next. I took the blade to my abdomen as fast as I could, after all, if I want to do everything needed, I had to work quickly. The sealing charm that I cast only has a three-minute timer on it. I'll be damned if I let them find me before I die. Not even Dumbledore or Voldemort can do anything to me now.

_**And thinks that I'll be his resurrection  
Tries to blow the dust of his mic and make a new record  
But now he's fucked the game up cause one of the ways I came was through that publication, the same one that made me famous  
Now the owner of it got a grudge against me for nothing but fuck it  
That motha fucker can get it too, fuck 'em then  
**_

I take the blade and plunge it in. I pull it from my naval to an inch below my heart. I won't die stabbing my heart, I will die from another method. Blood started to pour profusely from my chest down. Now I know that this is my time. I'm starting to get lightheaded from the blood loss so if have to work faster. Though, I only have one thing left to do.

_**But I'm so busy being pissed off, I don't stop to think  
That we just inherited 50's beef with murder inc  
And he's inherited mine, which is fine, ain't like either of us mind  
Still have soldiers that is on the front line that's willing to die for us  
As soon as we give the orders, never to extort us  
Strictly to show they support us  
**_

I rip the blade from my insides, my vision is really starting to go, and the only way that I can do this is if I feel where my slowing pulse is. I take two of my blood-covered fingers and feel the laboring pulse. It's now or never. I take the knife and plunge it into my throat.

_**Maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in chorus to show we love 'em back  
And to let 'em know how important is to have Runyon Avenue soldiers up in  
our corners  
Their loyalty to us is worth more then any award is  
But I ain't trying to have none of me people hurt or murdered  
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it  
**_

I drag it across from one end to the other. I can feel that I can no longer breathe as I take out the blade. I lay down on my bed with a smile on my face. I know that I might go to hell for this act, but I would take hell over seeing Harry and Hermione's smiling faces as they tell me how worthless I am. I smile as I recall what I wrote on the wall a minute or so ago. Now I lie in my blood as I drift away from what is called life, but my message remains.

_**Then to just say that I love y'all too much to see the verdict  
I'll walk away from it all before I'll let it go any further  
Now don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coping  
I'm just willing to be the bigger man  
If y'all can quiet popping off at the jaws with the knocking  
Cause frankly I'm sick of talking**_

_**I'm not gonna let someone else's coffin rest on my conscious  
**_

And it says: I know that I am worthless but I am also nobody. Continue to praise Harry and Hermione; I'm already invisible to you. And I know that you probably don't even know who I am, then just let my soul die like you did my body.****

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit torn apart We never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

End.  
Review and tell me what you think. Flamers are welcome, and they can bring their flames, the flame will encourage me to write more of these stories.


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